Keith F. Lynch
2024-04-01 20:35:38 UTC
Over the past few decades, great strides have been made in DNA
analysis and in data science. Analysis of the DNA of living members
of the royal families of Europe have allowed reconstruction of their
earlier and earlier ancestors.
This has resulting in a shocking discovery. It turns out that William
the Conqueror was illegitimate, i.e. his parents were not married to
each other!
This of course means that none of his descendants were or are rightful
kings or queens or the ancestors thereof. This includes Princess
Sophia of the Palatinate, Electress of Hanover. By current law, all
British monarchs must be her descendants. This creates a problem.
Parliament is working late to change that law, replacing her with
Alfred the Great. The entire British population will them be checked
to see who is most closely related to him. That person will become
the new British king or queen (if they're a member of the Church of
England, of course). If you're British and a church member, please
spit in a cup and mail it to Buckingham Palace for DNA analysis.
Thanks.
Of course this means that all laws that were ratified by monarchs
since 1066 are hereby null and void, and the laws have reverted to
those extant in 1065. If you are fluent in Old English, please
report to Parliament for translation duty. Thanks.
analysis and in data science. Analysis of the DNA of living members
of the royal families of Europe have allowed reconstruction of their
earlier and earlier ancestors.
This has resulting in a shocking discovery. It turns out that William
the Conqueror was illegitimate, i.e. his parents were not married to
each other!
This of course means that none of his descendants were or are rightful
kings or queens or the ancestors thereof. This includes Princess
Sophia of the Palatinate, Electress of Hanover. By current law, all
British monarchs must be her descendants. This creates a problem.
Parliament is working late to change that law, replacing her with
Alfred the Great. The entire British population will them be checked
to see who is most closely related to him. That person will become
the new British king or queen (if they're a member of the Church of
England, of course). If you're British and a church member, please
spit in a cup and mail it to Buckingham Palace for DNA analysis.
Thanks.
Of course this means that all laws that were ratified by monarchs
since 1066 are hereby null and void, and the laws have reverted to
those extant in 1065. If you are fluent in Old English, please
report to Parliament for translation duty. Thanks.
--
Keith F. Lynch - http://keithlynch.net/
Please see http://keithlynch.net/email.html before emailing me.
Keith F. Lynch - http://keithlynch.net/
Please see http://keithlynch.net/email.html before emailing me.